Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
