You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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