Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Randomize
