he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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