Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
