I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Small penises have feelings too.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
