I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
