writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize