Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize