Well apparently he's into motor boating.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
