Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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