It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
