Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you would pick up someone in the library
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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