What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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