She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
