I need help removing her.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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