piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
