She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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