Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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