ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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