You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
