Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize