This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
