I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
