3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize