This dress was meant to end up on your floor
they need to just BURY HIM!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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