Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
