We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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