i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
