Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
