shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
