How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize