hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
