What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
