sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
