maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Girls should come with a carfax report
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Terrible idea I love it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
