What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
what day is it and did you see me today?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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