the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
