Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
