Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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