high people should be assigned attendants
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize