she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
How's work?
Spinning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
