end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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