i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
