frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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