Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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