Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
3 2 1 whiskey
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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