Who did Billy Mays play for?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
