is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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