I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
