when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
this is an emotional support booty call
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
