Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize