Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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