how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
