The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize