jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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