On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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