you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
