I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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