It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
