Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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