shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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