i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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