And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
